sunset at moms

sunset at moms

Monday, December 14, 2015

'Christopher Robin, you must shoot the balloon with your gun. Have you got your gun?'
'Of course I have,' you said. 'But if I do that, it will spoil the balloon,' you said.
'But if you don't,' said Pooh, 'I shall have to let go, and that would spoil me.'

When he put it like this, you saw how it was, and you aimed very carefully at the balloon, and fired.
'Ow!' said Pooh.
'Did I miss you?' you asked.
'You didn't exactly miss,' said Pooh, 'but you missed the balloon.'

Excerpt from Winnie-The-Pooh and Some Bees, by A.A. Milne.

Someone once said that if you wouldn't read a book written for children yourself, you shouldn't read it to your kids. Maybe CS Lewis said it, that seems very him. Regardless, this is probably my favorite interaction in a children's book of all time, and I thoroughly look forward to the day my children think it's as funny as I do.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

A Prayer for the Postman

Rory is becoming quite the little pray-er. She usually just recites a prayer she learned from a book she received for her birthday- Thank you, Lord, for giving me blessings everywhere. In Jesus' name, amen.
Today it was a little different.

Thank you for BoBo and for my mommy. Thank you for my daddy who works. I pray you keep him safe and from dogs. Thank you for good good food. In Jesus' name, amen.

Monday, December 7, 2015

The Reason I'm Ditching Facebook

    Twitter. Facebook. Myspace. Xanga. The Elms' forum. I have been online for about 12 years. My thoughts are littered across the galaxy of the world wide web. I was a die-hard Xanga girl for about 3 years, and then Facebook ate my soul when I was 16. I learned social etiquette from the internet, which may or may not be a good thing. I learned how to write, how something as simple as ALL CAPS AND EXTRA EXCLAMATION POINTS!!! can turn you into a sidewalk prophet in seconds. Being an incredibly lonely, broken teen, I found I had more friends online that I'd never met than in real life, and to be quite honest, they were the main reasons I didn't just hang myself. Who was going to explain to Shaylon and Aaron and Hannah and Katie and Alex and Steve (how I didn't end up a dead raped kid in a trash bag, I have no idea) that KetchupKween17/andiehobbit had offed herself? I couldn't hack that thought, and God graciously rescued the miserable wretch that was me. To this day, and until I die of natural causes, I will thank God for these people across America. They taught me that, "if you dress like a hooker, talk like a hooker and act like a hooker, men will treat you like a hooker", inadvertently how to type really fast to keep up, and that I "...Can't fail God. That would mean He needed you in the first place."

    Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, forever.

    Facebook will always be special to me,Without it, Will Dole would not be my husband. A friend suggestion, like the smallest person, can change the course of the future. 

    That being said, Will and I decided this week that our New Year's Resolution is to break up with Facebook in 2016. All I did was skim this article and I knew it had to be done. Will can speak for himself, but I've come up with a stupid long list of why I'm doing this.
In no particular order...

  • Social media celebritizes ourselves. You will only see my best -or most tolerable- pictures, hear the stories I deem fit for the public, and yet have no contact with me in the outside world, besides a passing hi at WalMart. Bow to me, I may as well be Johnny Depp.
  • I read all day long, yet learn next to nothing. The only thing I get is anxiety, a distrust for anyone who doesn't think the same as me, or I'm crying about a goat who won't eat because he gets separated from his donkey friend.
    ...That stupid goat gets me every time.
  • My kids deserve eye contact. How often do I bark at my kids because they're interrupting the most clever status in the world? Because I want to finish an article about being a better mom so FOR THE LOVE OF PETE GIVE MOMMY 5 MINUTES!!!! Yeah, my kids deserve my eyes, not the top of my unwashed messy bun.
  • Because people are worth it. We depend on church functions/ Bible studies to force us to be social. We exist together online and like each others crap, but that isn't a relationship. What happened to having people over for dinner and playing cards? You know why old people do that? Because it's FUN.
  • Because people are jerks. Yes, this is rather opposite from the last point, but it's true. I have been horrified at just how awful people can be. You cannot assume that all liberals are the devil, all conservatives are the devil, all blacks are thugs, all gays are family-hating fags, all Muslims are going to hack our heads off, all whites think they're supreme, all Indians are free-loaders, all gun owners are waiting to kill you, all Christians are high and mighty...etc That is not to say there is no right and wrong, because there is, and moral relativism is bull. But generalizations and stereotypes don't do anyone any good. There is a way to disagree, even discuss issues without ripping someone to shreds. You can't just assume the person you're talking to is uninformed because they don't agree with you. They are just from a different side of the aisle. Be civil, act like an adult, drink some coffee and carry on. 
  • Because I'm socially awkward. I wouldn't say I have social anxiety, and I'm certainly not an introvert, but most of the time I get home and would like to sit in a black cave agonizing over every idiotic, rambling story I told. I've hidden behind carefully thought out, edited blurps for so long that I've forgotten how to interact like a normal human being. 
  • Because knowing someone without ever having a real life conversation with the person is really awkward. I know so and so's parent just died, their favorite color and have looked at their vacation pictures from the summer...and I've only said hi to them in the hallway at church once. That's kind of... invasive? Creepy? 
  • Because idiocy is fueled by Facebook. How many issues going on today would be diffused if we all just up and stopped hashtagging the Sam Elliot out of everything?
  • Because you can have 500 friends and still be lonely 8 days a week. No explanation needed.
  • Because practical strangers don't deserve your highlights. Again, celebritizing ourselves. If you would never actually hang out with your acquaintance's mom, why are you letting her see your life? We're letting people be our friends that we don't actually want to be friends with. If we did, we'd have a real life relationship. Your highschool buddy's distant uncle doesn't need to see pictures of your gooey newborn. 
  • Because now is the time to look up from your phone and see who your real friends are. The world is on fire. Hi, World War 3. Are we going to repost about it til ISIS is on our doorstep or are we going to find like-minded people and figure out a plan for our own families? #Closetprepper
  • Because social media brings out the worse in us. I am guilty of the emotionally charged re-post. I'm far more articulate when I can type, and that is dangerous because I'm haggy enough as it is.
  • Because if you were really friends, you would be told big life news over the phone or in real life, not some generalized mass status. Ever found out someone you love is in the hospital because you saw a picture posted of them hooked up to IV's with no caption? Yeah, that's great.
  • Because I'm paranoid. Back in my day, if someone found out you blogged, they'd tell you the latest story they heard about a stalker who killed a girl they found online because she wore a school tshirt in her profile picture and he tracked her down. Nowadays people post their baby's nakey pictures for the whole world to see tra la la. Some cho-mo is going to get off on your sweet baby's innocent bath time. That should bother you. Once it's out there, it's out there for good. Private accounts get hacked all the time. Be careful.
  • Because I think in quotes and retweets. I rarely post anything I don't think won't get at least ten likes. Somewhere along the way my brain made the people pleasing connection and that translated to what comes out of my mouth.
  • Because if you'd rather fight online than in person, you don't care about people. Anyone is tough online. "Keyboard warriors" will win no battles. Real, hard conversations need to happen in real life, face to face, or at least a phone call.
  • Because if you only argue with people over Facebook, you are isolated. I live a generally conflict free life, but I also don't have many close friends. People are messy and you are bound to find something you both fiercely disagree on (Need ideas? Try vaccinations, guns, GMOS or abortion. That oughta hold you for a while). If you never see people's uglies, you might not fully appreciate the pretties.
  • Because if you wouldn't say it to their face, you shouldn't leave it as a comment. The rule of "If you have nothing nice to say don't say it at all" somehow got tossed and now unwarranted, unending rudeness is the law of the land. If you think a beauty guru is ugly, then Bon Jovi, you tell them. If you don't like that Doritos makes rainbow chips for LGBTQLMNOPs, not buying the product isn't the answer: tell them you hope they die instead! We will give an account for every hotheaded thing we say.
    Unless it's about Donald Trump. Cause he's a douche. #Guilty
  • Because most people who protest you leaving social media are the ones you've never hung out with. (This excludes family) It's super convenient to just read the status, laugh, and not have to deal with the actual person. You want the milk without buying the cow. Will and I are known for our GOP debate coverage, and that's probably the #1 thing people are saying they'll miss. We exist in real life too, invite us over for one and you'll get it all from the horse's mouth and I'll probably bring snacks. Have you tried my enchilada dip?
  • Because people assume their kids are safe online. You know what makes me insta-hot? When I see people commenting on someone else's content something along the lines of this.
    The picture is a 40 something's sports-bra'd, 50 pounds overweight, sweaty before photo
    "You really shouldn't post these kinds of pictures. My 15-year-old son could scroll through and see this and he needs to protect his purity (eludes to the fact that kid hasn't had the talk yet)." Let me tell ya something. If you want to protect your kid's purity, get them off facebook, and probably anything to do with the internet. If you think your sweet precious teen, even pre-teen who hasn't been clued into the birds and the bees is behaving online, you are wrong. Whether the exposure is accidental or intentional, pornography doesn't have to lurk anymore, it's just there. The spammer on the swap group, the meme, whatever. If your kid is online and hasn't had the talk yet, you are an irresponsible parent and your child is most likely already introduced to pornography or is going to be when they look up the definition to the terms they just read about for the first time. You have got to prepare your kid, or someone else is going to do a really crap job for you.
  • Because I need to write. Really write. This poor blog is so neglected I don't even know if it should be resurrected, but I'm going to give it a shot. I'm working on a cookbook with my stepdad and have children's books I need to write down before the ideas explode out my ears. Yes, I call people douches and write children's books. The world is a funny place.
  • Because there might be a YouTube channel happening. Andie's Awkward Life? It might be a thing. Some stories can't be told through writing. Some things are so painfully awkward they need acted out.  And in between the shame of my life, I could do impersonations or makeup or cooking or something. It's just an idea I'm kicking around, we'll see if it goes anywhere.

    So that's my story.You're probably already thinking, good riddance if that's how you really feel! If you aren't completely offended, or you are and you're still kind of delighted about it, hang on to your hats. My caffeine inducing shaking, Carly Fiorina red fingers are just getting started!


Sunday, September 27, 2015

A Boy

    A boy.
    I always wanted a boy.
    I had reoccurring dreams that I had a baby boy for as long as I can remember.
    On September 27, 2014, at 7:04 in the morning, that dream became a reality.
    For one year, I have learned all about the completely different species that is the male. If Rory rocked my world, Owen done threw my snow-globe life into a dryer.Everything is done rougher and louder with boys. He likes to cuddle more than Rory did. And food, holy cow, he eats and eats and eats.
    But this is my boy. My sweat-er. My napper. My lover of macaroni, and of cats. A goofy, naughty giggle as he runs down the hall. Flicked fingers for the 14th time that morning because he will not leave his daddy's books alone. The smell of a favorite blankie. He loves to be read to and can hear a sleeve of crackers being opened a block away. 
    Something happens to you when you have kids. All new instincts (mostly survival, I'm sure) kick in, new skills are learned, and new love takes root in your heart.
    But something happens right down in your guts when you have a boy. Rarely am I at a loss for words about anything, but there is no description for what I am trying to convey. It's not favoritism; I love my daughter with my whole heart and she is my joy. But it's certainly different.

    Happy first birthday, my Owen. You were, and are, a dream come true.

Monday, January 20, 2014

One Year

    For one year I have changed diaper upon diaper upon diaper.
    For one year I have kissed soft, chubby cheeks.
    For one year I have humiliated myself just for a dimpled smile. 
    For one year I have looked down into bright, mischievous eyes and wondered what  could possibly be coming next.

     My baby girl turns one tomorrow. The ways God has used her to stretch me and mature me are countless. My husband seems to be even MORE patient now than he was (how it's possible, I do not know), and so willingly lays aside his own desires for rest and relaxation after a long day at work just to read princess books to our daughter.

     This child, who has an immense love for butter bread and books, has rocked my world.  For the first time in my life, I feel older than 13. That sounds incredibly strange, but I seriously have felt that I stayed 13 mentally. No concept of taking charge of a problem, nothing ever depending on me. I could do whatever the heck I wanted.
     Now there is a little girl watching me, learning from my example how to be a woman, how to love a husband, how to keep a house. What a sobering thought it is that I am my daughter's role model. I feel so incredibly inept, yet know that where I fail God will provide grace.  Kids are resiliant, right?

    So happy birthday tomorrow,  my sweet Loralai. You are the joy of my heart and the delight of my eyes. Mommy loves you.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

And So It Begins...

    Tomorrow I officially start the Trim Healthy Mama eating plan. I had seen an ad for it months ago and mentally stashed it on my Ignore Forever list being as they were Above Rubies chicks. Sure, they were skinny and gorgeous women, but that didn't matter. Guilt by association.
    Then my mother-in-law dropped 20 pounds loosely following the plan when she hadn't even bought the book yet. I sure am a sucker for that sort of thing.
    So I ordered the daggum thing and have all but ignored my child, my house and everything else since I got it on Wednesday because it's GINORMOUS and takes almost 250 pages just to get to recipes. Putzing around with those these last couple of days I've already seen the numbers on the scale move down, too! Geez Louise!
    The way I'm going to do this is I'm going to weigh and measure myself tomorrow morning and then hide my scale for exactly a month. I get so caught up in mere decimals on a daily basis and am so easily discouraged, I'm just gonna (hopefully) surprise myself. And while it's totally unlike me, I'm going to wait to do their hardcore Fuel Pull Cycle for a month. I need to be more familiar and confident with food combinations before I jump into something like that. Plus with Christmas coming up I don't want to get a week into it and go, "Well, screwed that up, pass the rolls and gimme a beer." So, I'll be patient.
    From the recipes I've tried I've been pretty darn happy. Cheese, cheese, glorious cheese! My Trim Healthy Pancakes were an absolute epic fail this morning. In my Andie-Needs-Food-NOW fuzzy state I misread the recipe and had already put in 1 tsp of baking soda when I realized it needed to be powder. Genius that I am, I added 2 tsp of baking powder to hopefully undo my oopsie.
    Bad move.
    I ended up with some floppy, lifeless, eggy, sproingy disappointment. Un. Happyville. So that was a big ol' bummer, but hopefully they're as good as they're supposed to be next Sunday when pancake time rolls around again.

    I have skipped a couple chunks of the book because they bored me to tears and I'm not going to go get blood tests done to see how my hormones are doing. It took a lot of restraint to not mark all the places that needed further editing or X out all the unnecessary commas. I think this book could have been hacked down quite a few pages just by nixing the cutesy sisterly fighting gaggery and extremely long opinions. I've only wanted to throw the book across the room once, which is a miracle considering my pre-conceived ideas.
    All in all, I really am excited to officially start and will for sure take a before picture some point today and post it with an after when my full month is over. Stay tuned ;)


Sunday, November 17, 2013

A Pruney Little Victory

    I had a small victory earlier this week. What was it? you may ask.
    Yep, I ate prunes.
    But it was the attitude behind the prunes. I've been working out everyday and have been keeping track of my calories on hardcore. I have been super good. Well, at some point this week, snack time was rolling around, but I wasn't in the best of moods. Initially I was going to go for something with empty calories and carby. Then, at the last moment, I decided maybe I'd go do a quick workout instead. And so I did.
    I felt so good after I did that 10 minute little ditty that I decided to go for something that might actually benefit my body instead of just being useless. My search ended when I spotted some prunes Will had bought. I've always made fun of him for liking prunes cause that's a total old person thing to like. But I thought, eh, why not? I love plums, this is just a raisin version of a plum.
   Yeah, I kinda love prunes now.
    But it was just a little victory in overcoming emotional eating/food addiction. This has been a challenging two weeks for sure. I read an article on overeating and how you have to re-learn what it feels like to be hungry and satisfied and I am doing just that. I'm starting to hate that stuffed feeling again, which was usually my aim. I've never ever gone hungry, yet I have an irrational fear of starving. My food addictions are just an outward way of saying I don't trust God to take care of me and supply for my needs. I'm learning to depend on Him and "taste and see that the Lord is good." I'm learning that I need to find my satisfaction in Him and that I'm not being deprived if I don't go back for seconds. There are other ways to be happy than just when you're eating. It's been quite a learning experience. I didn't realize this was such a big issue, but it definitely is.

    That's all I got, I just wanted to share my little win :)